Okay already I realize that I’m already off to a bad start with this whole I’m going to blog daily deal, but lets be honest the amount of actual readers vs my spam doesn’t equal a fair amount to really feel guilty about not getting this done on time. With that said here we go…

To give the fast update since it has been a while I am heading into my last semester of college. The STUDENT TEACHING semester. This is the semester that scares the living crap out of me. While I realize that I can do this, I can teach and I can honestly say I’m good at it. I’m SCARED! An entire classroom all for me filled with small children whose education rests in my hands. Scary stuff. It is a good thing that I will have other adults in the room to make sure I’m heading on the right path and that I am doing my part in meeting all the goals that have been set for the students.

Since I am in my last semester I am also starting the scary Job Hunt! Applying for teaching jobs is scary and its even more nerve racking when you realize that your degree is only Birth to Third grade. Not to mention the fact that I’m in my 30’s.

Life – well it takes twists and turns and you never exactly know what it going to happen or where it is going to end up, but it has been happening and it has been turning and it has been changing. I will keep you updated on that as time moves forward. But its looking up and looking good. Enough Said.

So in all honesty life in general hasn’t changed all that much since I last posted, but over the next few months they are going to drastically change.

That is what you can wait for each time I blog. The new adventures of Carrie!

A new year.. a lot more to say.. and a very little time to do it in. So this year I will make this one deal…

I will post more…

Yes thats right in 2012 I have many new adventures coming my way and I am going to tell everyone about them.

I will start

TOMORROW

LOOK OUT WORLD

I have so much to say right now, but I really am not exactly sure what to say or how to say it all.

Life takes crazy turns and you just have to really go with the flow of it all to experience everything that it wants to offer you. It make take you in directions that you didn’t think you would take, it could take you backwards, forwards or on twisted roads. But you simply need to buckle up and take the ride for what it is …

It is for LIFE

Take the Risk
Make the ride worth it

LAUGH

LIVE

and most of all

LOVE

I remember your laughter, your smile. I remember how you would walk into the room and people would notice. You were not a superstar, nor were you anything but yourself, but you were a light that opened the eyes of all the lives that you touched.

I can honestly say that in the time I have known you we haven’t had the best friendship, but we haven’t had the worst. I think we both knew that the things that separated us were things that we knew the other cared about but were too stubborn to really admit that the other may have been right. The one thing I know for sure is that I am so glad that we parted friends. I am so glad that we were on speaking terms, that we had gotten back to a point where we would actually talk and not the basic hello that lost friends say to each other. Its been almost 4 months since you passed away and I swear if I blink it happened yesterday. I walk into the office and your voice is there greeting us all. Your laughter can be heard through out the day and I can place your smile in the reflection off the windows. Yet, you are not there, you are gone. I beat myself up for a while after you passed away. I know you would have kicked me if you could, but I did. I should have realized what was going on with you. I should have put two and two together and said something was wrong. I didn’t see it then, but I do now and I promise you had I seen it then I would have been there for you.

I saw you the Thursday before you passed away. We were talking about our normal stuff, boys, movies, music and friendships, and then you were gone…

You are missed and loved Lauren…

I just finished watching letters to God and I’m not exactly sure why it prompted me to post but for some reason here I am typing away for the few that read or the ones who may read without my knowledge, but I’m doing it anyway. The movie made me think and rethink so I figure the best way to do some of that thinking is to type it here. So it is without further anticipation to those who pass by here, read or simply stop in to see if I am alive…

Let me start with this simple statement.

I make my mistakes, believe me. It is what I learn from my mistakes that is important.

It has been some time since I honestly have put this much effort into a blog and as you know life has completely flipped over for me a few times. Thank you for those flips. Had I not taken some of the risks that were placed in front of me I may not be sitting here writing. I just hope that I am taking the right risks and making the most of what God has planned for me.

Friendships…I am going to lump them all in one area because if they do read this then they will know who I am talking about without me having to call them out on the internet. I have been blessed with so many amazing friends. Friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin without ever having spent a day walking next to me. I have been blessed with old friends that may not be around me daily anymore but they are still there if I need them. I know that. My new friends, who I wouldn’t have made it through these last few years without. They have been a silver lining to a dark sky. And then there are those friends who I still cherish yet do not speak to anymore. Most of them will never realize how much they touched my life while they were apart of it, and how much their words of encouragement during my down times still come back and push me forward now.

I know for a fact that these friends are amazing no matter which category they fall within because I have had outsiders tell me this. I have heard more than once that I have some of the most amazing friends, who these outsiders knew would help me get through the good and bad times no matter what those times may be. I have been told that the type of friends I have are rare, and that not everyone gets the chance to experience friendships like I do. This in itself is how I know that I pick and choose those who enter my life wisely. Every single person who I have been friends with, who I have been in real relationships with and who I have lost for whatever reason was in my life for a reason. I may not have known each reason when I met them, but looking back you can kinda see what each person was there for. Good or Bad I get it.

I understand that I have pushed some of you away, closed doors and simply walked away. I understand that I pushed too many times to count, so many times in fact that even the strongest could not come back for more. I understand that I have not always been the same friend to each of you that you have been to me. For that I really am sorry. It was never done on purpose, I simply am not as good at being a friend as some of you are. I am sorry that I have lost some of you along the way, because some of you that have drifted were the ones who made me smile the most. A few of you even made life seem clear and simple. However, I do understand that as we each grow older and move forward within our own lives that not all of us are going to travel down the same roads. It would be too crowded if we did, so if you must drift I hope that one day you find a way to drift back if only in passing. I understand that those who have stood their ground and fought me, pushed me and helped me back up are the ones that are still around today Each of you are a lot of the reason as to why I am who I am today. I owe you each more than you know, and even though I am not as good at this whole friendship as you put some trust in me.

For my friendships of Tomorrow, if you are anything like those from Yesterday and those that are here Today then the future looks safe and bright already. My only wish is that I can be to you what they have been and are to me!