I just finished watching letters to God and I’m not exactly sure why it prompted me to post but for some reason here I am typing away for the few that read or the ones who may read without my knowledge, but I’m doing it anyway. The movie made me think and rethink so I figure the best way to do some of that thinking is to type it here. So it is without further anticipation to those who pass by here, read or simply stop in to see if I am alive…
Let me start with this simple statement.
I make my mistakes, believe me. It is what I learn from my mistakes that is important.
It has been some time since I honestly have put this much effort into a blog and as you know life has completely flipped over for me a few times. Thank you for those flips. Had I not taken some of the risks that were placed in front of me I may not be sitting here writing. I just hope that I am taking the right risks and making the most of what God has planned for me.
Friendships…I am going to lump them all in one area because if they do read this then they will know who I am talking about without me having to call them out on the internet. I have been blessed with so many amazing friends. Friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin without ever having spent a day walking next to me. I have been blessed with old friends that may not be around me daily anymore but they are still there if I need them. I know that. My new friends, who I wouldn’t have made it through these last few years without. They have been a silver lining to a dark sky. And then there are those friends who I still cherish yet do not speak to anymore. Most of them will never realize how much they touched my life while they were apart of it, and how much their words of encouragement during my down times still come back and push me forward now.
I know for a fact that these friends are amazing no matter which category they fall within because I have had outsiders tell me this. I have heard more than once that I have some of the most amazing friends, who these outsiders knew would help me get through the good and bad times no matter what those times may be. I have been told that the type of friends I have are rare, and that not everyone gets the chance to experience friendships like I do. This in itself is how I know that I pick and choose those who enter my life wisely. Every single person who I have been friends with, who I have been in real relationships with and who I have lost for whatever reason was in my life for a reason. I may not have known each reason when I met them, but looking back you can kinda see what each person was there for. Good or Bad I get it.
I understand that I have pushed some of you away, closed doors and simply walked away. I understand that I pushed too many times to count, so many times in fact that even the strongest could not come back for more. I understand that I have not always been the same friend to each of you that you have been to me. For that I really am sorry. It was never done on purpose, I simply am not as good at being a friend as some of you are. I am sorry that I have lost some of you along the way, because some of you that have drifted were the ones who made me smile the most. A few of you even made life seem clear and simple. However, I do understand that as we each grow older and move forward within our own lives that not all of us are going to travel down the same roads. It would be too crowded if we did, so if you must drift I hope that one day you find a way to drift back if only in passing. I understand that those who have stood their ground and fought me, pushed me and helped me back up are the ones that are still around today Each of you are a lot of the reason as to why I am who I am today. I owe you each more than you know, and even though I am not as good at this whole friendship as you put some trust in me.
For my friendships of Tomorrow, if you are anything like those from Yesterday and those that are here Today then the future looks safe and bright already. My only wish is that I can be to you what they have been and are to me!