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Its that time of year again and we are heading into week two of our semester.
I won’t complain or give you all of the boring details about what classes I am in or how much I paid for books. If you want that info go to college! No really it wasn’t that bad. I am actually enjoying being back in school and now looking forward to student teaching which starts up really soon.

Right now its all full time work and full time school.

When that starts I will have a lot to say I’m sure.

Till then
comment on spammers!

This past week my hometown of Rocky Mount Virginia lost two firemen. On Monday July 26, 2010 Posey and Danny heard their monitors go off that help was needed at a house fire in the county and these two men didn’t think twice. They kissed their loved ones goodbye rushed off to the station jumped in the truck and took off on their final journey. This was not a job that they were paid for, nor was it a call they had to go on, this life was a choice. Posey and Danny were volunteers and where I am from that means you apply, are approved, take classes, are issued a monitor, uniform, and gear. From that moment on it is your choice to go on the calls for your department. Posey and Danny made the choice to get up in the middle of the night, leave work, or family events for a combined 7 decades. Never once with a worry about their own lives, only the lives of the people they were going to save. They were dedicated, Danny served as Fire Chief of the Rocky Mount Volunteer Fire Department for years, and currently that position was held by Posey who also served as the towns assistant Mayor. These men loved this life, even after heart surgery and well into his 60’s Danny couldn’t just give it up. Members of the department felt safe knowing Danny was there, and the community knew they were in good hands.

When my family moved to Rocky Mount in 1980 it took a simple barn fire across the pasture for my dad to decide that he wanted to join, and from that moment on my dad has lived the life of a volunteer. Now my dad is the Deputy Director of Public Safety for the county also known as the Fire Marshal and he turned what he loved into a career. I grew up around firemen and monitors and “tones” calling for help. I know what Possible PI means or 10-22. I can still to this day some 30 years later know what tone matches what department within the county. I can recall my dad and Posey arguing over the silliest things and end the night patting each other on the back knowing that things were fine. I remember nights at the firehouse just hanging out while the “men” had their meetings and I would play in the balcony with the other children that were tugged along with dad for whatever reason. These men, not just Posey and Danny, but all of them became a part of my life. I saw some on a daily basis, I saw them at their worst, and I saw them at their best. I even stayed in their homes with their families if my mom was out of town and my dad had a call. I am a part of their family without serving along side of them.

I know for a fact that the brotherhood of Fire/EMS is strong and solid. I know that they, we are family. I know that we may not always get along, we may fight, we may even scream at each other but in the end we are family. I say we because it is every single person involved. It isn’t just the firemen that volunteered their families did as well. We watched our loved ones leave during the years and we said our own silent prayers that they would return home safely, that they would protect each other, and that they would save the life they were leaving ours for. I remember looking out windows of neighbors houses as my father took off to help fight a fire, and I remember always waking up knowing he would be home in the morning. It is possible that I should have lost faith and trust in their safety as a child because I have lost a member of my Fire Department family. That member was closer to me than some others may have been, he was my babysitter.

Michael Bassett grew up around the corner from me with his parents and his sister. I can remember many times stopping by their house just to visit with my parents. His parents were friends with mine so it was natural that Michael would babysit me when his sister wasn’t able to. I do not remember how old I was, or even what day the accident happened I just remember the outcome. The Boones Mill Fire Department was looking to buy a new truck, and boy did they need it. They were looking at one with the extended cab; a lot like the ones most stations have today, only where the backdoors are there were none. The backs were open they simply had a yellow “safety” bar. A truck arrived at the station for them to test drive and Michael Bassett and Steve Mills (Daddy Steve as I call him) hopped into the back spots. I can only assume that they were highly excited as their lives, like others revolved around the station. That night they took off driving around the local area that they take care of, which includes many small narrow back roads. They were driving down Brick Church Road when they saw an oncoming vehicle that was taking up a vast portion of this small narrow road. The options on this road were the driver’s side which was a large drop off (it looked like a cliff) or smashing into the passenger’s side into a rock wall. The truck was refusing to move over and the truck was left with its only option which was attempting to go around while tight wire walking the edge of the cliff. The trucks driver’s side tires slipped from the edge and the truck started to fall. From what I can understand the driver’s side hit the side of the cliff first, this just happens to be the side Mike Bassett was sitting on. I was told that Steve and Mike yelled a few words at each other, what, I’m not sure but in the end Mike made the decision to jump from the truck. A lot of what happened next I was never told, nor do I want to know, but in the end I know that Steve was crawling up the hill and stopped beside Mike to see if he was okay and if I’m correct within my memory Mike told him that he was fine to keep going, however Mike had actually been crushed by the truck as it rolled down the hill. I simply know that Steve and the others in the truck made it to the top of the hill, Mike did not.

My parents did not want to break the news as there are some things as a parent you hope that you do not have to explain to your small child. Death was one of those things. I was on the school bus and a lady we picked up who worked in the lunchroom was talking to the driver about how a wreath of flowers was placed outside her neighbor’s house when the husband died. In my mind I think somehow I knew something was wrong because on the way home from school that day I paid attention to his house as my mom and I drove past. That is the day I questioned my parents about Mike, that is the day I’m sure my parents weren’t looking forward to but when the time came my parents explained to me what they could, how they could and I thank them for it. That day I learned just how close the families of firefighters and rescue squad members really are. I was not allowed to go to the funeral so I couldn’t begin to tell you if it was beautiful or if people came from different areas, but I am sure the county grieved for their fallen brother just the same.

It is different today. Now I am an adult and I understand death and I understand dedication. Posey and Danny were dedicated to their department. They were loved by their families, and community. They are now being remembered by the nation. Their lives have touched more people than they even realized. They are missed by more people than they could have imagined, and our community is morning a loss once again. We can move forward and continue as a whole with the support of each other and the support of our Nation. This family that I have spoken about, it is like any other family, we have our close family, being the department we serve, we have our extended family being our community and we have our outer family, being the nation. Today our nation showed its support for our family in ways that I feel we will never forget. They arrived to grieve with us, to share in our loss, and to support us. They gave up their day to serve our community as they would have served their own. They in turn showed our community what brotherhood stands for. I have not lived in Franklin County since 2005, but my heart has always been there. I grieve with you, I cry with you and I face each day with you knowing that two people who served our community selflessly are gone. I know that while we cannot bring them back we can and will honor their memory.
May Angels lead you in while we ring the bell to announce your arrival. Godspeed Posey Dillon and Danny Altice, we shall meet with you again.

Fire Fighters Poem (R.I.P our fallen heroes)

HE STARES IN THE FACE OF DEATH
WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT
TO SAVE THAT ONE SPECIAL LIFE
THAT HE SO BRAVELY SOUGHT
HE HAS WALKED AS CLOSE TO
“HELL ON EARTH”
AS ANY MAN COULD DO
AND HE’S SO PROUD OF THE JOB HE DID
FOR PEOPLE HE NEVER KNEW
HE PUTS HIS LIFE ON THE LINE
EVERYTIME DUTY CALLS
ALWAYS DOING WHAT NEEDS TO DONE
WITHOUT EVEN A PAUSE
HE IS A FIREMAN
WITH OVERWHELMING PRIDE
NEVER AFRAID TO TAKE A CHANCE
WHEN SAVING SOMEONES LIFE
OFTEN HE SAYS
“IT’S MY JOB”
BUT WE REALLY KNOW
THAT HE IS VERY SPECIAL
AND ALWAYS READY TO GO
SO WHEN YOU HEAR THE SIRENS WAIL
OR SEE THE FLASHING LIGHTS
STAND ASIDE AND LOOK WITH PRIDE
HE’S GOING TO SAVE A LIFE.

Back home in Rocky Mount Virginia two volunteer firemen were killed today while in route to help control a house fire. While driving to the scene, lights flashing and sirens blaring a SUV decided to pull out and T-bone the firetruck. Because of the weight of the firetruck and the additional weight of the water within the tanker the truck flipped three times before ejecting both firemen out of the truck and landing on its top. One died at the scene while the other passed away on the way to the hospital from the scene.

My hometown is a small town and if you or a family member are involved in the volunteer fire/rescue family then you know each person from each department. I grew up around these guys and cannot remember a time when they weren’t around either at the house, or me being at the station with my dad. This is a great loss to the community and to their families.

Simply goes to show that one thing can distract you making the right decisions while driving.

Godspeed Fire Chief/ Vice Mayor Posey Dillon and Firefighter William Daniel Altice

believe it. I’m okay, I’m strong, I can handle it.

MAYBE

I have dealt with my fair share of let downs, heart breaks, broken promises, bad situations, mistakes, deaths of loved ones, and loved ones dealing with their own loved ones deaths. I have dealt with a lot. You would think that the saying about how “God doesn’t put more on our plate than we can handle” would be a motto to live by on any day to day basis, but let’s be honest internet readers. I highly doubt when we get down, so far down that the light at the top isn’t even clear anymore that we sit back and ponder all that is on our plate. I try, really I do but it doesn’t work. There are days, weeks, and moments in time that I think; Please let me make it through this day, and of course in the end I do. However , life hasn’t exactly been easy, it hasn’t been full of amazing moments, and it sure hasn’t given me the happy endings that I always thought I deserved. Then again maybe it isn’t time for my happy endings, maybe I do not deserve the fairy tale that every girl wants and needs to see her life complete. Maybe, my time just hasn’t come yet.
Maybe my plate hasn’t been full or overloaded, but it sure has been seeping over the edges. That I know for a fact. I’m not exactly sure how I became the person I am today, it is possible that my friends led me down this path or maybe it has been the love gained and lost teaching me the hard knock lessons in life. One thing I do know for sure that no matter what has happened good or bad they have made me the person I am today, and honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. I may go back and change a few things here or there, tweak them a little but I would not turn in a single moment of my life so far just to have a perfect moment. I have had perfect moments, perfect situations, and why would I want to have more? I have loved, lost, witnessed amazing love, and cried, but that hasn’t stopped me from trying. Because I am strong, I do believe that in the end I will be okay, and because I can handle it.

There I said it. I CAN HANDLE IT.
BUT there is one small problem.

What happens if I can’t handle it, or don’t want to? What do you do when you have to play the strong one once more, but do not feel like you have the ability? Tell me where do I find the strength again to face another battle? When do I get the chance to stop fighting the battles of life’s letdowns and enjoy good things? Most of all when do I finally get to reach the end of a goal without it crashing down around me because of others giving up?

When do I get to live?
When do I get to break free of the cycle?
When do I get the fairy tale?
When does all the dealing with everything turn into living, and loving, and enjoying?

When do I get to be ME?

Answer – Everyday I wake up. Each morning the world gives me the chance to have that perfect day, to create that fairy tale, to live my dreams. It gives me a balance that I tip to see what side might be better. I get to live daily, I break free daily, I may not have the fairy tale but it is there waiting for me just beyond the stage lights. I have the strength to deal with the things that come at me, I may not realize it but it is there. I can deal with me and I can be strong for my friends.

It is those un-perfect moments that have given me this power. The heartbreaks, the let downs, the sadness these moments in life have given me the chance at joy and perfection. I haven’t mastered it yet but I will, and when I do the world is mine for the taking.

well well well I realize I have a lil catching up to do in regards to the chapters of my life but I need to make an interruption really fast

last monday night we got snow.. sleet… freezing rain.. EVERYTHING… and it kept coming and coming and coming for 3 days. It is now the monday after and I have been getting out of my driveway just find since friday evening when I got up the courage to drive back up it after it took 4 days to get down it. WELL WELL FREAKING WELL

My neighbor who I have discovered isn’t as horrible as I thought he was is actually a BIG problem to our road. He drives a LARGE.. LARGE 4×4 like a 250 or something BIG.. and he drives it like a bat out of hell.. IRRITATES THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME.. Nice guy.. drives for SHIT..

He has personally made the flat portion of our street a NIGHTMARE for cars..

So today I thought well I can’t get my car out but maybe I will shovel some to get ready to get out tomorrow.. I go outside with my shovel in hand, I aid three cars that get stuck while I’m doing this then the neighbor leaves and UGH.. messes it up.

So I start again.. this time the neighbors across the street all stand at their glass doors WATCHING ME SHOVEL. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.. YOU LIVE ON THIS STREET WITH ME GET A SHOVEL AND GET OUT HERE TO HELP ME YOU TURDS!!!

But they didn’t .. One lady turned on her front porch light which I can only assume was her way of helping.

However.. I quit .. I’m now sitting inside warm and cozy and ticked off but warm at least.

In other news.. I was laid off sorta.. I was reduced in hours but if I can get hours from others I can work whenever I want. This has given me a bitter sweet life that I’m not always sure I enjoy. Sure I make my own schedule now but most of the time I’m showing up at work at 8am praying that someone wants to go home early which they always do and working an 8 or 10 hour shift depending on how lucky I am. It seems to be working out well though I have gotten 36 to 40 hours a week since this happened right before new years.

In other news.. I have been thinking a lot lately.. about a LOT of things.. and I just wanted to say I’m sorry.. I have neglected a LOT of people over the last year and I’m sorry. I sorta shut myself off from a lot of things and I should have kept those close to me that mattered most. For that I’m very sorry and hope that in time each of you will know that I love you dearly and that I didn’t mean any harm I just thought in my mind it was the right thing to do.

I miss my friends.. old and new.. There are some that I used to tell everything to and I haven’t been doing that for a long while .. and here in the last few months I have wanted nothing more than to contact you and just talk.. talk and talk.. to say the things that you would understand and that no one else does. .. I guess time tells all and I shall continue to let that time pass by until I get the courage to finally say.. Hey.. I miss my friend..